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Thursday, April 12, 2012

MC Call Hating

Telemarketer: "Yes, is Mr. [name redacted] in?"

Me: "Dat me. Whaddup?"

Telemarketer: "Hello, Mr. [name redacted]. My name is Benjamin and I'm calling on behalf of Sheisty, Inc. How are you doing today?"

Me: "Oh you know. I be lampin'. Juss kickin' it with deez hoes, sparkin' up dat herb, you know? Straight marinatin'."

Telemarketer: "That's wonderful. Well I was wondering if you had a minute to talk about you current cell phone service provider?"

Me: "Yeah yeah, no doubt. I'm a tell it to you like this."

Telemarketer: "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

Me: "On the freestyle tip, son. On the strength. Yo, yo, yo -- "

Telemarketer: [silence]

Me: "I'm straight buggin' -- When I see yo mamma's titties, I be running -- out dat door -- 'cause them shits be so saggy they be hittin' da floor."