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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Art of Confusion

Telemarketer: "Hello, this is Rachel from The Crap Factory, how are you doing today, sir?" 

Me: "Beet beet sugar beet sugar beet beet, sugar beet beeeeet."

Telemarketer: "...would you like to hear what we have - "

Me: "Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience."

Telemarketer: "...we are offering - "

Me: "Haters gonna hate, am I right?"

Telemarketer: "I'm sorry, what?"

Me: "Does it take pennies?"

Telemarketer: "Um..."

Me: "Treat Williams."


Eddie ̶M̶o̶n̶e̶y̶ Funny

Telemarketer: "Is this Michael?"

Me: "Take me home tonight."

Telemarketer: "This is Steven from random company. How are you doing today, sir?"

Me: "I don't want to let you go 'till you see the light, Steven."

Telemarketer [no pause]: "Am I speaking to Michael?"

Me: "Take me home tonight."

Telemarketer: " Michael available to speak on the uh, phone?"

Me: "Listen Steven, just like Ronnie sang..."

Telemarketer: "..."


Telemarketer [laughing]: "Have a good day, sir."