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Friday, July 27, 2012

The Art of Confusion; Part II

Telemarketer: "Hi there. Is Michael available?"

Me: "That is a big affirmative."

Telemarketer: "Hi Michael, my name is Rochelle from OldPeopleScammers. How are you doing this morning?"

Me: "That's so Raven."

Telemarketer: "...OK! Well I'm calling today because of your previous interest in getting the medications you take every day for a fraction of the cost!"

Me: "If a white person takes a brown poop, does a brown person take a white poop?"

Telemarketer: "I didn't catch that?"

Me: "You need to understand that Marmaduke ALWAYS got into trouble."

Telemarketer: "Is your connection OK? I'm having a hard time understanding you."

Me: Where's my Chippy?"

Telemarketer: "Your what?"

Me: "Babies can't even smoke cigarettes. That's ridiculous."

Telemarketer: "Babies?"

Me: "This cup of coffee is out of batteries."

Telemarketer: "I'm having a hard time understanding what you're saying, Michael."

Me: "Kid's Bop."

Telemarketer: *exasperated sigh*

Me: "..."

Telemarketer: "Is this Michael?"

Me: "..."

Telemarketer: "Michael, are you there?"

Me: "..."

Telemarketer: "Hello?!"

Me: "Patty from the Peanuts comics definitely ate pussy."



  1. This is fucking hilarious.

  2. How the hell do you manage to keep yourself from laughing on the line?

  3. You are either certifiably insane, or the most brilliant improvisational conversationalist I've ever seen. I don't know which, but keep on screwin' them! I love it!

  4. I was having a bad day after finding this website..laughing does make some things better. TY

  5. how DO you keep from laughing and find all these great lines?? incredible!! very funny

  6. It is funny how I came to this page because I'm currently bored at my job (telemarketing) and started laaaaaaaaughing on the floor. You sir, are very funny.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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