Friday, July 27, 2012

The Art of Confusion; Part II

Telemarketer: "Hi there. Is Michael available?"

Me: "That is a big affirmative."

Telemarketer: "Hi Michael, my name is Rochelle from OldPeopleScammers. How are you doing this morning?"

Me: "That's so Raven."

Telemarketer: "...OK! Well I'm calling today because of your previous interest in getting the medications you take every day for a fraction of the cost!"

Me: "If a white person takes a brown poop, does a brown person take a white poop?"

Telemarketer: "I didn't catch that?"

Me: "You need to understand that Marmaduke ALWAYS got into trouble."

Telemarketer: "Is your connection OK? I'm having a hard time understanding you."

Me: Where's my Chippy?"

Telemarketer: "Your what?"

Me: "Babies can't even smoke cigarettes. That's ridiculous."

Telemarketer: "Babies?"

Me: "This cup of coffee is out of batteries."

Telemarketer: "I'm having a hard time understanding what you're saying, Michael."

Me: "Kid's Bop."

Telemarketer: *exasperated sigh*

Me: "..."

Telemarketer: "Is this Michael?"

Me: "..."

Telemarketer: "Michael, are you there?"

Me: "..."

Telemarketer: "Hello?!"

Me: "Patty from the Peanuts comics definitely ate pussy."

*click*

7 comments:

  1. This is fucking hilarious.

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  2. How the hell do you manage to keep yourself from laughing on the line?

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  3. You are either certifiably insane, or the most brilliant improvisational conversationalist I've ever seen. I don't know which, but keep on screwin' them! I love it!

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  4. I was having a bad day after finding this website..laughing does make some things better. TY

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  5. how DO you keep from laughing and find all these great lines?? incredible!! very funny

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  6. It is funny how I came to this page because I'm currently bored at my job (telemarketing) and started laaaaaaaaughing on the floor. You sir, are very funny.

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