Telemarketer: "Yes, I'm looking a....Michael...[redacted]?"
Me: "That's so Raven."
Telemarketer: "I'm sorry?"
Me: "Yeah, you pronounced my last name pretty Raven. Good work."
Telemarketer: "Oh, OK. Hi Michael! I'm Everett with MortgageMonkeys. How is your day going?"
Me: "My day is incredibly Raven right now. How about you?"
Telemarketer: "It's, uh...it's good! Our records show that you might be interested in reducing your monthly mortgage payment, so I figured I'd give you a call and let you know about what kind of services we offer that can do that for you!"
Me: "Your records aren't very Raven. I don't have a mortgage."
Telemarketer: "Really? It says you do on my list. I'm really sorry about that."
Me: "That is SO Raven. That might be the most Raven thing I've ever heard."
Telemarketer: "What's that?"
Me: "You're going off the rails on a Raven Train."
Telemarketer: "Well we also offer credit card payment consolidation. Would that be something you're interested in?"
Me: "Credit card consolidation? That is Raven as fuck. I'll take three of them."
Telemarketer: "Great! You only need one of them, though. We take all of your card payments and turn them into one simple, low loan payment."
Me: "Don't you tell me how Raven I'm allowed to get. Sell me nineteen credit card consolidations right this second. I've got a credit card to pay for them."
Telemarketer: "I...I don't think I'm explaining this well enough. What we offer is -- "
Me: "YOU WANNNA GET RAVEN WITH ME?! YOU CALL ME UP ACTING ALL RAVEN AND EXPECT ME TO NOT GET RAVEN LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT BACK AT YOU?!"
Telemarketer: "Sir, I'm going to end this phone call."
Telemarketer: "I won't be sworn at, sir."
Me: "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so upset with you. You're just doing your job."
Telemarketer: "It's alright, sir. It's just a miscommunication. Now let's get you set up with that credit card consolidation."
Me: "Alright, sounds good."
Telemarketer: "OK, lets start with your home address."
Me: "Very good. Do you have a pen handy?"
Telemarketer: "I sure do!"
Me: "Alright, you ready?"
Me: 473 "Crazy Dumb Stupid Raven Jellybeans Avenue, Baby Tits, Ravenchusetts, 032 -- ."