Telemarketer: "Thank you for calling Yadda Blah Blah, this is Deidre. How may I assist you?"
Me: "What?"
Telemarketer: "Thank you for -- "
Me: "No no no, you called me."
Telemarketer: "I'm sorry to hear that, sir. How may I assist you?"
Me: "You called me, Deidre. I have no idea how you can assist me because I didn't ask for assistance."
Telemarketer: "May I get your first name?"
Me: "You don't even know my name? You're killing me, here."
Telemarketer: "I'm sorry about the inconvenience, sir. May I get your first name to get started?"
Me: [three second pause] "Thank you for calling Liebowitz, Liebowitz and Liebowitz. This is Liebowitz speaking. How may I assist you?"
Telemarketer: "OK, Mr. Liebowitz, can I get your first name?"
Me: "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. How may I assist you?"
Telemarketer: "Excuse me?"
Me: "Let's start by getting your last name, Deidre."
Telemarketer: "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."
Me: "I'm sorry to hear that, Deidre. Do you remember your account number?"
Telemarketer: "..."
Me: "I'm sorry, Deidre. The only way you're going to be able to access your account is to provide me your account number or by answering your preset security question."
Telemarketer: "Were you...I..."
Me: "OK, your security question is: 'where is the dumbest person you will ever meet currently located?' Do you remember your answer?"
Telemarketer: [exasperated sigh]
Me: "Ooh, I'm sorry Deidre. The correct answer is 'a mirror'."
Telemarketer: *click*
